Run……. The world is in shambles but you can’t tell how humans keep procreating. As if the world will get better for their offspring. Silly goose. Laughing. Smiles. An intimate moment. I like you. A joyful moment only to realize a fallacy. No.
Dance. Damn I’m smart. Get me out of this matrix. One day we will all be free. Hell on earth. Birthing kids to be enslaved to labor under the guise of “career.” Congratulations! It’s me. I’m the problem. Stop. Go. Let go. Release…………………………
I am human-free by choice. I never dreamed of having one. I do not have the urge or desire. I like to use the term “human” vs “child” because being a child is only one phase of being a human. Humans have various stages, i.e., baby, toddler, adult etc. I like to think that when most people say they want to have a child they mean a baby, not a human. People love babies. Babies can be controlled, and do not have any autonomy. They are at the mercy of the adult in their life. I do not understand how some people yearn to have them.
People need to be okay with all stages of a human before having one. Really sit down and ask yourself, am I capable emotionally, mentally, physically? Can I properly guide this human through life to achieve “their” dreams and aspirations. Can I teach them morals and values that align with being a good person? Humans are not your mini-me, twin, or re-do at life.
Babies are a blessing is a scheme that Todd set up to continue populating the earth. If they were truly a blessing, people would not complain as much as they do about having them.
I know myself. I do not want to teach anyone how to survive in this raggedy world. Humans need to become extinct. We have had too much time to self-correct. Maybe a new species can do a better job than we have.
I am stuck. If y’all could see the amount of unfinished posts in my drafts folder! I have so many thoughts, but no way to form them into a cohesive post. I start writing but get lost. If I was using pen and paper, there would be over 100 pieces of crumpled paper on the floor. My pencil would be a stub and the eraser non-existent. It’s like I am walking to nowhere fast. Sleeping, walking, crawling, and laying down as the final straw. Soon is all I can think. Maybe I will be able to run with ease.
I was cleaning out my Google Drive and found some old writings. Opening one called “Blog Post 4,” my first thought was, “Did I write this?” I backed out to check the date and make sure it was really mine, not something by someone else with my name. I sat there wondering if I had posted it somewhere. As I kept reading, I realized, Oh yeah, this is definitely me. I cringed as I read because I was embarrassed by the words. Y’all, I was so ashamed! Maybe I’ll post them here and follow up on each piece to show how my views and feelings about the topics have evolved. I’m still sitting here trying to remember why.
I looked at another document titled “My Book.” Like girl, were you trying to write a book? After graduating from undergrad at Valdosta State, I have held several different jobs. I was a receptionist at Georgia State School of Law. While I was there, I applied to Georgia State’s journalism undergrad program. I got in, but I never went. I ended up quitting as a receptionist and becoming a flight attendant. I was just out here doing anything and everything!! I say all that to say these writings I found are over 10 years old!!!
I really am laughing, because here I am back again. What am I doing? I have no clue. Where will this lead? Who knows. Will it phase out again? Maybe. I am just following my intuition. I told myself to be more intentional about listening to myself. So let’s take this new trip and find comfort in just appreciating the journey.
Brain Spills 